Internal Struggle
For almost the past two years I have worked here in Iraq. I believe that I will continue my work here for some time. Although, it does seem that this year I have begun to create my own new problems. Due to relationships outside of work & Iraq each time I take a vacation it becomes more and more difficult to return.
I have goals and plans. I have set certain goals, up to a year at a time and continue to meet them, but as time moves on these goals become increasingly difficult to attain. With each passing quarter of the year I find myself asking, "how much longer can I keep this up? How much longer can I work in a war zone, and how much longer can I live without the freedom that I am here supporting?"
Due to conditions in Iraq, we don't have the freedom that we all take for granted back home. It's not as if you can just go for a drive when you get stressed out or go out to dinner or to a movie for the weekend. You can't be with those that you love or want to be with, unless you are lucky enough to be married and have your wife working on the same base. It's difficult sometimes to work more than twice what the normal person in the states works every week. People probably don't realize that the work that we do here in just one year is more hours worked than people back home work in two.
Don't get me wrong, there are wonderful benefits to working over seas and it has been one of the greatest experiences of my life, but in this environment it begins to eat away at you over time. I think I would have to say that if it were not for the people that I work with it just may not be worth it sometimes. When it comes to working here, the people make all the difference. I still believe that I will be in Iraq for quite awhile longer, but with each passing day I eagerly look forward to my next vacation!
I have goals and plans. I have set certain goals, up to a year at a time and continue to meet them, but as time moves on these goals become increasingly difficult to attain. With each passing quarter of the year I find myself asking, "how much longer can I keep this up? How much longer can I work in a war zone, and how much longer can I live without the freedom that I am here supporting?"
Due to conditions in Iraq, we don't have the freedom that we all take for granted back home. It's not as if you can just go for a drive when you get stressed out or go out to dinner or to a movie for the weekend. You can't be with those that you love or want to be with, unless you are lucky enough to be married and have your wife working on the same base. It's difficult sometimes to work more than twice what the normal person in the states works every week. People probably don't realize that the work that we do here in just one year is more hours worked than people back home work in two.
Don't get me wrong, there are wonderful benefits to working over seas and it has been one of the greatest experiences of my life, but in this environment it begins to eat away at you over time. I think I would have to say that if it were not for the people that I work with it just may not be worth it sometimes. When it comes to working here, the people make all the difference. I still believe that I will be in Iraq for quite awhile longer, but with each passing day I eagerly look forward to my next vacation!
posted by Casper at 11:35 AM
4 Comments:
Only you can determine your direction, goals and their worth in a changing, challenging life.
But know this, years from now when you look back you will be either happy, unhappy or disappointed with the decisions that you make each day.
I have had a long life and made many bad and some good decisions. Luck, both good and bad has had its way with me over the years, but I lived my life like my parents taught me.
To live without fear of failure, because failure teaches you how to succeed.
And to remember, life is only as hard as you make it, but a hard life can be a good life.
Good luck and good health to you, but your hard work and your commitment will make the real difference.
Papa Ray
West Texas
USA
Thanks for you words words of inspiration Papa Ray... press on!
Granted, I'm not that much older than you, and I don't have the full life experiences of Papa Ray, but I have done an extreme amount of living and growing up in the amount of time I've been here so far.
Imagine your life is 80 years (average). Is busting your ass for 2-4 of them woth the goals you have set? Will you be able to look back 10, 20, 40 years from now and say "That was hard, but I'm glad I did it because it allowed me to do X, Y & Z"? The fact that you've been meeting your yearly goals suggests you believe strongly in them, and are willing to do what it takes to achieve them.
I know you miss so many freedoms over there, and you miss people and places and things. But again, look at your goals, are they worth it to you? If so, you'll find the intestinal fortitude to stay and achieve those goals. On the other hand, with new relationships developing, etc, those goals may change, too. There's nothing wrong with that.
Follow your heart, but use your head. And when in doubt, talk to those co-workers who have and are facing some of the same delemmas. Draw on your friends, they're there for you.
Take care, and good luck.
Peace~
Thanks Ikaba -YOU ROXXOR, nice to hear from you! Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
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